Healing Your Heart Before You Start Something New

Break ups happen. Plain and simple.

HOWEVER, I thoroughly believe one should heal on their own before they dive, heart first, into another relationship. I see it way too often, a break up happens, then less than a month later someone is 'head over heels' with someone else, only to crash and burn again.

This is my theory behind this: When you try to find someone else to fix your broken heart, mistrust, insecurities, etc., you don't learn how to fix yourself or heal on your own time and pace. This may all be mental but it's real. So many people try to find comfort in others after a break up and it only ends up in a disaster (most of the time). The whole saying "get over someone by getting under someone else" is disgusting and should be banned from the mouths of single individuals for eternity. There usually SOME sort of feelings left after a break up and only time can erase those feelings and instill confidence in an individual after a break up.

I'm not saying you HAVE to be single for a certain amount of time. but if you're using other people to attempt to heal your own pain, you're doing it wrong...way wrong. I think a better way to go about things would to be focusing on yourself for a few months, do yo thang, be you, do you, HAVE FUN.

I see girls (and guys alike) get into new relationships a few weeks, days, or even hours, after a break up and I honestly don't believe their intentions are in the right place. Do they seriously think they are genuinely interested, or just happy someone is paying attention to them? If they're doing it to get back at an ex they need to realize they're just stooping REAL LOW. If you're dating someone new and getting into a relationship soon after a break up to get back at an ex you're an idiot. Are you 14? Come on, you're better than that. Instead, better yourself, in every way possible. Make yourself THE BEST PERSON YOU CAN BE. Be the person everybody wants but can't have because YOU'RE NOT READY AND THAT IS SO OKAY.

Emotions are not something to mess with, and you can end up hurting someone else if you use them to attempt to heal yourself. Would you want someone to do that to you? I think not. If someone expresses interest in you, its okay to state that you're no where near ready to start dating again. You'll know when you're ready, and that will be the right time to start dating and finding someone else to devote yourself to. When your heart is healed and there are no more hard feelings, angst, regret, trust issues, etc. When that ex is a mere memory and no longer holds a place in your heart.

Until then, do you. (And not many others because no one likes anyone who sleeps around)

Have a great day! Email me with any questions, comments, or concerns! 

askprfctwoman@gmail.com

xoxo