Healing Your Heart Before You Start Something New

Break ups happen. Plain and simple.

HOWEVER, I thoroughly believe one should heal on their own before they dive, heart first, into another relationship. I see it way too often, a break up happens, then less than a month later someone is 'head over heels' with someone else, only to crash and burn again.

This is my theory behind this: When you try to find someone else to fix your broken heart, mistrust, insecurities, etc., you don't learn how to fix yourself or heal on your own time and pace. This may all be mental but it's real. So many people try to find comfort in others after a break up and it only ends up in a disaster (most of the time). The whole saying "get over someone by getting under someone else" is disgusting and should be banned from the mouths of single individuals for eternity. There usually SOME sort of feelings left after a break up and only time can erase those feelings and instill confidence in an individual after a break up.

I'm not saying you HAVE to be single for a certain amount of time. but if you're using other people to attempt to heal your own pain, you're doing it wrong...way wrong. I think a better way to go about things would to be focusing on yourself for a few months, do yo thang, be you, do you, HAVE FUN.

I see girls (and guys alike) get into new relationships a few weeks, days, or even hours, after a break up and I honestly don't believe their intentions are in the right place. Do they seriously think they are genuinely interested, or just happy someone is paying attention to them? If they're doing it to get back at an ex they need to realize they're just stooping REAL LOW. If you're dating someone new and getting into a relationship soon after a break up to get back at an ex you're an idiot. Are you 14? Come on, you're better than that. Instead, better yourself, in every way possible. Make yourself THE BEST PERSON YOU CAN BE. Be the person everybody wants but can't have because YOU'RE NOT READY AND THAT IS SO OKAY.

Emotions are not something to mess with, and you can end up hurting someone else if you use them to attempt to heal yourself. Would you want someone to do that to you? I think not. If someone expresses interest in you, its okay to state that you're no where near ready to start dating again. You'll know when you're ready, and that will be the right time to start dating and finding someone else to devote yourself to. When your heart is healed and there are no more hard feelings, angst, regret, trust issues, etc. When that ex is a mere memory and no longer holds a place in your heart.

Until then, do you. (And not many others because no one likes anyone who sleeps around)

Have a great day! Email me with any questions, comments, or concerns! 

askprfctwoman@gmail.com

xoxo

I am an Unintentional Heart Breaker.

I break hearts. But not on purpose.

I am a very social person, some may call it flirty, I disagree. I'm social. I'm not afraid to strike up a conversation, share my opinions, ask someone how their day is going. It does not matter who, it could be my best friend, someone in my class, a customer at work, whoever. When I'm approached by someone, of course I'm going to hold a conversation, being short would be rude (in my opinion). I don't see a problem in creating friendships with people I meet. 

The problem is that some people, men to be specific, take my friendliness as genuine romantic interest. Since when is having friendly conversation romance? I've had guys express their interest in me, compliment me, the whole nine yards, but I could not see past the 'friendship'. Personally, I cannot make myself like someone. I can't pretend to be interested in someone just because they are interested in me. I believe in an initial spark, which I've felt before so I know it exists, when starting a relationship. 

I feel bad, ultimately telling guys I'm not interested in anything beyond a friendship. I've been specifically told "Well you just broke my heart", but I don't INTEND to. I'm not trying to flaunt that I have guys falling all over me, because I don't, but then ones I have had develop feelings for me and I haven't felt the same, has left things feeling a little awkward upon seeing or talking to them again. I'm not trying to sound stuck up by any means, I really enjoy friendships and of course I want a relationship but I don't want to force one. The term "friendzone" is so annoying to me because, YES I'm going to remain ONLY friends with you if I don't see you as anything more than a friend. I'm not going to pretend I have feelings and like a friend back. The term "friendzone" always has a negative connotation of the one who doesn't have feelings. BUT YOU CAN'T MAKE FEELINGS UP. I'm not going to pretend to like someone, start dating, and be miserable. No thank you. That's not fair to either person. 

So, I break hearts on accident. Not to the point where these guys spiral into depression but just enough for them to feel disappointed, I don't know if it's disappointment in me or what. But it kind of sucks. I don't lead anyone on, I'm always honest from the beginning, but feelings develop and I have to let them down as easy as I can. If you don't know already, I just went through a tough breakup a couple months ago. It was pretty messy and right now I just want to focus on myself, my job, my schoolwork, and me. It's okay to be a little selfish. I've learned a lot and I need a break from relationships, I am not a serial dater. I heal on my own and I don't try to date other people to heal myself. (hint hint, next post)

I'm not ready for a relationship, and if you aren't either, you shouldn't feel like you have to be in one just because someone likes you or because you're trying to get over someone else. So with all of that being said, I'm not anti-relationships by any means. But I thoroughly believe time to one's self after a breakup or life changing event is necessary. I don't feel the need to be in a relationship right now and that is 100% okay with me. I'll be in another relationship again eventually, and I know it will be great, but for now, I'm alone and I'm totally okay with that. I love myself through and through, I'm healing day by day, and soon enough I will love another the way I love myself. 

Update On My Ever-So-Interesting Life, Thankfulness, & Holiday Singleness

Happy November!
I personally cannot wait until Thanksgiving, because family and food are two of my favorite things. With Thanksgiving, comes being 'thankful' for what you have. I think this is an aspect of the Holidays A LOT of people tend to forget, even myself. So I'm going to take the time to remind myself  (and all of you) to be thankful for where you are in life, right now.

For starters, Holidays can be either SUPER cheerful or SUPER depressing. Some feel that if they do not have a significant other, that the holidays are not complete. I've been there, having thoughts that spending the holidays with someone would be so much 'better' than being alone. But is it really better? You still have your friends and family, that alone is worth celebrating. No, it's not someone to kiss underneath the mistletoe, but that is what your pet is for :) You may not have someone to spoil you, buy you jewelry, nice things, and take cute pictures with, but IT'S OKAY. It's not a bad thing to be single during the holidays. For starters, let's remind ourselves how much money we'll be saving (or spending on ourselves instead). I know when I'm in a relationship, I somehow manage to spend hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of dollars on my significant other during the holidays. This year, I've decided to save, volunteer, and spend more time with my family and friends.

Some people have taken my "it's okay to be single" tweets as "being in a relationship is stupid and sucks". Let me clear the air, I never said that. Relationships with the RIGHT person are wonderful, fulfilling, and can change your life. Being single and waiting for the right person is okay too, and that's all I'm really saying. So please STOP putting words into my mouth, if you're happy in your healthy relationship, I'm happy for you! More power to you, you deserve it.

Back to being thankful, I am thankful for what life has taught me. I am forever thankful for life being a twisting, turning, long, and tough path. The lessons I have learned in the past year have been extremely tough on my ego, heart, and mental state, but I'm stronger than ever. I'm thankful for my family, each of my siblings, my awesome parents, and my cute little pup (who is not a pup anymore). I am thankful for my friends who continue to make me laugh until I cry, have slumber parties (Yeah, I'm 22, SO WHAT?!), listen when I need it, and drunkenly dance with me. I am thankful for my college education, I graduate in December! YESSSS! I am thankful for my job(s) and my upcoming opportunities. I am thankful for the tough decisions I have to make in the next few months because at least I have different paths and opportunities to take. I am thankful for every heartbreak I've ever had, because instead of damaging my heart, they've made me stronger and smarter. I am thankful for each and every one of my twitter followers. Even though you may not know what I look like, my first name, or anything else, you still make my day and I seriously enjoy interacting with you. I'm thankful for my motivation to kick my own ass at the gym on pretty much a day-to-day basis. I am thankful to be healthy, alive, and most importantly, happy. I don't worry as much, I look at life as one big opportunity, I don't mope, I'm always smiling. The best part? I've done all of that by myself. Make yourself happy, it's a great start at overall happiness.

Back to a little more update on my life, this semester is wrapping up, and I'm graduating in December! It's been a LONG journey of college credits and terrible professors, but it's all going to be so worth it when I 'Terio' (Oooh Kill 'Em) with my Bachelor's degree. Although I'm not quite sure what I want to do exactly, I'll figure it out! I'm ready to travel the world, live a little before I have to work for the rest of my life. I'm actually looking into being an Au Pair for a family in Europe for a handful of months! So I'm trying to figure out the details of that, and I just picked up a second part-time job because I'm money hungry and have student loans to pay. (I hate you, Sallie Mae). I'm going to Nashville soon and I'm really really really excited, I've never been so it will be a new experience for me. I'm also thankful to be able to travel, especially with my friends. (Time for shots!)

I've really been doing 'me' lately. Not getting caught up in the dating scene, working on myself, bettering myself, and being more independent. I'm really doing my best to set myself up for success. I'm not worried about finding 'the one' tomorrow, I'm not even worried about finding him in the next few years, if it happens, it happens. I'm not going to worry about it. Meanwhile, I'll be doing me, living life to the fullest, and experiencing all I can while I'm still young. I suggest you do the same!

xoxo

Never Sacrifice Your Own Happiness

I may believe in second chances, I do believe that people can change if they really want to, I believe in finding the good in people, but I DO NOT believe in settling for anything less than you deserve. Settling is something that is often overlooked. Sometimes you don't even realize you're settling until you are absolutely miserable, but it's never too late. In relationships, when the other person is not holding up their end, or putting in effort, or even treating you like a decent human being, you're settling.

I'm not saying your boyfriend or girlfriend has to jump through flaming hoops for you, but I am saying that they should give just as much effort and try to make you happy on the regular. If someone claims to love you, they won't be letting you down on a daily basis. Sometimes you won't even realize it, or you'll brush it aside, or try to make the best of it, but you should NEVER EVER have to brush your feelings or your needs aside. It's okay to be a little selfish when it comes to your heart. If someone is really not making you happy anymore, and definitely not putting in the effort, it's time to leave. Nothing good will come of settling for less than decent. Never sacrifice your own happiness.

I'm speaking from both personal experience and what I've learned. I've been through being unhappy first hand, I tried to make the best of it, I tried to fix things, I tried to pretend I was happy. But I wasn't. I was miserable, it was turning me into someone I really wasn't. My relationship needed to end once and for all. That's the cold truth you have to come to terms with. It sucks at first, but once you find your own happy again, and feel that natural smile come over your face, it's amazing. It really is.

I loved him. He told me he loved me. But I don't think he knows what the truth definition of love is, at least to me. To me, love is happiness. Love is finding someone that makes you feel something you never have before, makes you want to do everything you can for that person, share memories with, spend time with, share thoughts and concerns with, have traditions with. Love is a feeling that cannot be forced, but is a word that can be thrown around.

You can't fix someone who does not want to be fixed. You cannot change someone who does not want to change. No matter what you say or do, neither of those things can be successfully accomplished. This is my problem, I always want to fix the broken, help the bad habits. I finally realized that I can only do this for myself. I can only fix me, I can only change myself, I couldn't fix him, I couldn't change him. When things got worse, I finally realized it. I realized he will never change, no matter what he says, and I couldn't be with someone like this anymore. It drained me and stole my happy. I needed out, and that was the best decision I've ever made. Don't try to fix someone. Let them fix themselves.

Once you realize that someone is not right for you, no matter how long you've been with them, no matter how much you love them, no matter how many memories you have with them, it's time to let go. There's this quote I found and I thoroughly agree with it...

"'How do you know when it's over?'

'When you feel more in love with your memories than with the person standing in front of you'"

I could not agree more. I seriously love this. It was so true for me, I was in love with what was, not with was is. (or should I say, 'what was'?). Regardless, once I realized all of this, it was all over. There was no saving anything, no trying to fix anything, nothing left to salvage. Honestly, I'm okay with it. 

How?! Why?! Some may ask...to me it's simple... I know I deserve better. I know I deserve more. I know I deserve to be happy, not to be bent and broken and torn apart. I'm not going to settle. No matter what. I'm too young to be in a shitty relationship. Mediocrity is an epidemic. I will not succumb to a mediocre relationship for the rest of my life. Sure, I poured my heart and soul into that relationship, but it wasn't worth it. I'm not afraid to be alone, I'm not afraid to be single. I'm okay with hanging out with friends and sleeping alone at night. I don't depend on goodnight and good morning text messages. I don't need to text and talk to someone almost all day every day. I'm my own person. Instead, I'm going to focus on me, myself and I. I'm going to invest my time into school, work, and my body. If someone else comes along and things work out, that's great, but I'm not looking. I'm about me. I'm about having fun. I'm not going to give my all to someone who gives nothing in return.

And I have no angst, anger, or bitterness towards my ex. I just hope he finds happiness and peace within himself. Nothing more, nothing less. What's done is done. No use in holding anything against him. Let go. Let it all go. Don't hold on to grudges, you'll only make yourself more angry. I will be someone's perfect girlfriend one day, and they will recognize and appreciate it more than I could ever imagine.

I'm 22, most of my followers range from 15-20something. Whatever age range you're in, realize this: YOU'RE YOUNG AND PROBABLY AREN'T GOING TO MARRY THE NEXT GUY YOU DATE. (or the guy that you're dating, just saying) Things aren't the same anymore, people don't get married and have a family by 23, jeez if that was the truth, I'd be screwed. But live it up, however old you are. Have fun, enjoy yourself and your happiness. Don't be miserable and a psycho in some shitty relationship.

You may say you're over him/her but only you can really know. You'll know you're over them when you don't feel the need to bring them up, when you don't need to bitch about how much they suck, when things don't remind you of them. When they're finally out of your mind. When you're finally at peace with what was, and looking forward to what is and what will be. Leave your relationship and it's issues in the past, move forward, don't dwell.

And for Heaven's sake...stop going back to the toxicity! 

xoxo

Did you miss me?!

It's been forever and a day since I've posted on this blog, and I'm sorry. Been busy, as usual. Finally my last semester of undergrad! WOOOHOOOOOOOOO

Anyways, I just wanted to let you know I updated my skreened.com shop and added some baseball tees and crew necks (sweatshirts), they're made by American Apparel and if you know anything about them you know they make the BEST clothing. The quality is amazing, they shirts are so soft, and so durable. I have a lot of their tanks and v-necks and I love them and wear them all the time. I can't wait to buy my own baseball tee and crew neck! They're unisex sizes so I usually go with a small. I'm 5'4".

SO, I just wanted to let you know whats up. I'm going to be blogging about a new topic of: not settling, not trying to fix someone, and not dealing with other people's bullshit (excuse my French) sometime soon but don't wait up for me. I know I take longer than I always say but I have a lot going on.

Please be patient, and as always, thanks for being amazing!

xoxo

Fever Friday! Proposal fever that is...

Happy Friday!

Before everyone starts getting sad about Summer being almost over, or going back to school, or whatever other summer blues may occur, I have happiness for you! Who DOESN'T love a cute proposal? Heck, I tear up at almost every proposal I've ever seen, I am guilty of staying up late and watching proposals on YouTube in high hopes one day I will get my own. Anyways, I've tweeted about this before but now I'm featuring @HowHeAsked. A WHOLE TWITTER ACCOUNT BASED ON PROPOSALS AND HAPPY ENDINGS, HELLO THIS IS MUCH NEEDED. Sorry, I got a LITTLE excited there.

Back to the topic, I'm here to introduce you to Stacy Tasman. She's the creator of HowHeAsked.com and she's the brilliance behind the twitter account as well (@HowHeAsked). Do I even have to ask you to follow? You all should have searched for the account and hit the follow button already! This isn't spam, or paid advertising, I have a soft spot for proposals, so when Stacy contacted me I was SO TOTALLY STOKED (for lack of better wording) to get to know more about this portal of inter-web happiness.

Here's a little background on the site & the creator, Stacy!

ABOUT US:
HowHeAsked started in Fall 2011 and features a new proposal story every day! Features include jaw-dropping photos, tear-jerking videos, and beautiful, heart-warming words. We receive submissions from newly-engaged women, grooms-to-be, photographers, deadly duos going on their 5th or 55th anniversary, same-sex couples, and more.
Bottom line: we’re in love with love (and of course gorgeous rings) and are thrilled to help share the most exciting story of a person’s life!

ABOUT ME: 

Hi, I’m Stacy Tasman! I started HowHeAsked in Fall 2011 after a dear friend of mine got engaged. I felt blessed to be a part of the proposal and honestly couldn’t tell you who was more swept up in the emotion – my newly engaged girlfriend or my [extremely mushy] self. Alas, HowHeAsked.com began.

I’m a storyteller myself and unstoppably inquisitive. I love all things real, passionate, and energetic, and when life gives me lemons – I build a lemonade stand. I live in New York City, am a University of Florida graduate, and I’m lucky to have traveled through some of the world’s most beautiful countries over the past few years.
Most importantly, I get to know extremely excited women and help them share the most amazing story of their life with their friends, family, and all the love-addicted readers of HowHeAsked. And yes, I cry reading every single one

----------------------------------

I felt the need to get a little more information out of the proposal queen herself! So I did a little Q&A via email and this is what Stacy returned. LOOK AT THAT RING, #swoon. Feel free to read, cry, read some more, shed some more happy tears, and read again. Then go on pinterest and plan your future wedding ten times over. Those DIY center pieces, YOU CAN DO IT! Take it all in...


What's your favorite type of proposal?
I love the small things in life that make it most beautiful – like the way someone's eyes wrinkle when they smile or the way a short love note on the kitchen counter can turn the day around. So, my favorite proposals highlight the tiny bits and pieces of who a person is that has made the other person fall in love with them. I absolutely melt when a proposal adds up all the beautiful ways love exists, and all the ways it will exist in the future.

What's your favorite style of ring?
Oval and vintage. In fact, this is my favorite ring:

What is your HONEST opinion on the new 'Disney' inspired rings?
In life, love and relationships, what means something to one person doesn't always mean something to another. Same goes for engagement rings! The bright colors and ornate details of these Disney-inspired rings are beautiful, but I'm personally more of simple, elegant gal. I do, however, love the evolution of the traditional engagement ring and think any symbol of love – whether it's a traditional diamond, vintage gem, or Disney-inspired ring – is a stunning thing to wear!

What's the most unique proposal you've seen?
Speaking of Disney, I really loved this Disney montage proposal. The groom put together a mash-up of Disney films to share what his now fiance means to him. It was such a beautiful and creative effort, and the two of them will have the video to share forever!

What's the funniest proposal you've seen? (In a cute way, of course!)
This guy proposed in a banana suit. The best part is when he stands up...the banana suit is the equivalent length of a mini skirt. (Also, you'll see the girl is rushing into the room the banana man is waiting in because she was "on a scavenger hunt" with her friends). The whole thing is rather priceless.

What do you think is mandatory when it comes to a proposal?
1. That it's a complete surprise
2. That it's caught on camera some how

How can people contact you with their stories?
You can send an email to Stacy@HowHeAsked.com (with the story of "how we met" and "how he asked" + proposal photos/video + engagement shoot photos if you have them) or fill out our submission form.

How often do you post stories that have been shared with you?
I receive around 15-20 per week and I try to post all of them within a month or so. We are working on a self-publishing feature to speed this process up. The more the merrier (and tearier!).

What's your favorite part of a wedding?
The vows and speeches. If you couldn't tell already, I'm a big ol' mush. I've been blessed to have to a LOT of love in my life and I'm never too shy to be vocal about it. Words are so powerful and can change a person's life (it's happened to me many times). So at weddings, I love hearing kind, supportive and loving words, surrounded by the most important people in your life.

Would you ever consider making merchandise for the brides-to-be?
I've thought about making merchandise to commemorate the proposal (there are so many wedding blogs out there- I might leave it to them to do the wedding stuff, and I'll stick to the proposal). You'll definitely be the first to know when that happens!

So now it's time to accidentally leave this blog up on your phone/computer/ipad/tablet for your potential fiance to see. Obviously. I apologize for slacking on my blog, this thing called life keeps getting in the way! But I hope this little update is enough to make you crack a smile, find a new twitter account to follow, and a new website to stalk on a daily basis when you have wedding fever. Enjoy, and thank you as always for following @Prfct_Woman!

xoxo

I'm Slacking.

I'm slacking and I know it. I've been busy with work and everything else I fill up my time with. As some of you may know, my computer crashed so I am behind on posting the results that some followers sent me of their before/after fitness challenge. I apologize and I'm working on getting everything back up and running.

I also haven't as been as personal on Twitter, for the following reasons. I said too much before and that led to people passing judgement. I am going to keep my twitter pretty vague from here on out. Not saying I will tweet about starbucks and glitter every day, just less personal things about my relationship and myself. I hope you understand. I appreciate every single one of you loyal followers, you've really made my experience as an anon on twitter a positive one! I just need my personal life to remain personal.

As always, if you ever need advice you can email me. (askprfctwoman@gmail.com) and I will get back to you as soon as possible. School will be starting up again soon and that starts a whole new set of responsibilities, unfortunately. #GROWNUPPROBLEMS

I'm working on coming up with a list of topics to blog about, I want to blog about what YOU'RE interested in and what YOU want to know. So you can always tweet at me or email me or comment on this blog post and I'll work on a blog about the topic.

P.s. my birthday is coming up, I like shiny things and beer.

;)

xoxo

Perfect woman fit challenge!

Hey guys! It's the first day of summer! That means its times for you to email me your before and after pics! I blogged about it a month or so ago so look back for more info. I'll be creating a post sometime this weekend/upcoming week including your before and after pics so email me to them now!! 

My email is askprfctwoman@gmail.com

Xoxo

Skreened.com

Hey all! I've had a skreened.com shop since I was the "prfct_grlfriend" but since then I changed my handle and added some new designs to the shop! They're not all relationship themed, as you can see here.

I make the shirts just for fun, but the commission I get off the shirts is going towards VDAY, a worldwide organization to end violence against women and girls. The website for the organization is HERE VDAY has events all over the country and world, it's truly an inspiration and an all-for-women type organization. 93% of their profits goes straight to the women and children in need. I'm not sure if you know anything about charities but that is a very high percentage!

However, I don't get commission right away, the way Skreened works is that there is about a month and a half waiting period before the comission is available for transferring. Every dollar helps! Remember, you can change the style of the product, from tees, tanks, hoodies, v-necks, whatever they have! All you have to do if click "more styles" to the right of the image of the current product. Prices DO vary.

So please feel free to scope out my designs, and tell me what you think!!

Link to my shop: PrfctWoman Skreened Shop

"Second Chances"

Second chances are not for the faint of heart, they're for the strong willed, the ones who know what they deserve, the ones who know what they want and won't settle for less, the ones who can stand their own ground and be independent. Second chances are not for everyone, to give or take.

I do believe second chances work sometimes, emphasis on SOMETIMES. However, if you're giving someone a second chance, you have to be EXACTLY what I stated above. You can't give someone a second chance if you're weak. If you're weak, you're more likely to be taken advantage of. More likely to be hurt in the long run or short run. It's all up to YOU if you want to give someone a second chance, but if you're not in the right mindset, don't do it. Don't give in. People CAN change. But you not only have to give that second chance, you have to dictate how you go about that second chance.

If you're giving an ex a second chance, NOT INCLUDING CHEATING BECAUSE I THOROUGHLY BELIEVE ONCE A CHEATER ALWAYS A CHEATER, sorry had to get that out of the way. Let that person prove themselves to you, not just with words, but with actions. If they follow through with plans and stick to their word, you're making good progress. Keep your 'guard' up, but don't make it a damn 20 foot concrete wall covered in barbed wire and an electric fence. That shit is for the birds. It's one thing to be strong and slightly guarded and it's another to have a guard so high that you're only going to hurt yourself. Again, this all relates to the very first paragraph of the blog. You may still have feelings for this person, you may still love this person, but YOU have to be in control of yourself. Don't be an emotional mess while giving someone a second chance because that won't work. Don't chase this person around like a puppy, don't become clingy. Show your independence, show your strength. If this person REALLY wants you in their life still, they will show you, they will make it up to you, they will prove their feelings and loyalty.

If you're giving a friend a second chance, most of the 'rules' stated above apply. Kind of. Minus the romantic part haha. Be strong, be supportive, and most importantly, forgive. Don't hold grudges, they will only make you a miserable person. Nobody wants to be miserable, so don't let yourself be miserable. Let go of your baggage, you'll be happier and a better person because of it.

It's Thursday, Thursday...

Might as well be Monday, because that is how today feels to me! Anyways, I've been busy with work and what not, my Blackhawks are in the Stanley Cup finals which is HUGE. They beat the Bruins in game one last night, in TRIPLE over time. Hashtag Oh My Word. So that's basically my life. I need to start hitting the gym twice as hard, I'm feeling sluggish and I haven't been able to get my usual two-hour work outs in. I shall get back to that ASAP.

I can't believe it's already June! Before we know it, it will be September. Don't hate me for saying that, please. I beg you. Not much going on in my life, just kind of going with the flow. I'm not hating it, but I'm not loving it. I guess I shouldn't complain. I just want to thank you all for being such great supporters of the @Prfct_Woman twitter account, a lot has happened in the past few months, all for the best of course. I take every experience and use it to fuel my fire. Even if it's somewhat of a 'negative' experience, I twist is around to the best of my ability and use it to my advantage. There's so much negativity everywhere you look, it's nice to come across something positive. What cracks me up the most is when people try to bash me, insult me, criticize me, and correct me. The funny thing is 99.51739% of you don't even know my real identity. You don't even know my first name, yet some people feel the need to judge me based on 140 characters. If you feel the need to judge someone on 140 characters, you need a reality check, STAT. What's worse is that some people think they know my whole entire life story, granted I do reveal some details but not enough for ANYONE to criticize. Some people act like I bully-tweet, and I don't, so why do they feel the need to try and insult me?

I really just think it's immature and insecure (see my jealousy blog post!). I am happy to tweet and share minor details about my life with you. As most of you know, I love the gym, target is my second home, twerking is my hobby, I say 'peasants', all in good-natured fun. I don't think I'm better than anyone, however I do think my favorite sports teams are better than everyone else's. (JOKE). I joke around, I poke fun, I'm sarcastic, but I have a heart and feelings. I'm not out there to bully or tell anyone to go kill themselves (BECAUSE THAT'S JUST HORRIBLE) unlike many anon twitter accounts.

This was just kind of a 'let it all out' post. I enjoy interacting and tweeting with you. Don't ever hestitate to tweet me or email me if you want to chat or need advice. I do my best to respond to everyone, but with 64k followers, that gets a little difficult sometimes! If you want me to blog on any specific topics, PLEASE let me know, today, tomorrow, or whenever. Tweet them at me or email me! askprfctwoman@gmail.com

xoxo

Workout Playlist 6-4-13

Here's some songs currently on my workout playlist!

Blurred Lines - Robin Thicke
Rich as F - Lil Wayne
Here's To Never Growing Up - Avril Lavigne
Clarity (Tiesto Remix) - Zedd
Same Damn Time - Future
Tapout - Rich Gang
Girls Not Grey - AFI
Make It Bun Dem - Damian Marley ft Skrillex
Yummy - Gwen Stefani
Up up & away - Kid Cudi
They Like Me - Shop Boyz
Down On Me - Jeremih
Shake Your Pom Pom - Missy Elliot
Hey - Lil Jon
Do My Dance - Tyga
Riot - 2 Chainz
Everybody Nose (remix) N.E.R.D. ft Kanye

Enjoy! xoxo

Fitness Website!

This website is kick ass, if you want to know more about fitness and building muscle, and what not, check this out! The best part? It's geared towards women! Nia Shanks touches every possible issue women have with exercise and trying to lose fat and she puts rumors to rest.

This specific link is her 30 Rules to Lift Like a Girl

This woman is amazing, seriously I could read for hours and hours. It's also GREAT motivation

Jealousy

Jealousy is an ugly disease. Once you contract it, you start to become paranoid, whiny, needy, and try to pick apart every little thing about what you're jealous of, and then deny that you're even jealous.

Jealousy is not often admitted. Sure, people say "I'm so jealous!" when you say you got tickets to a big game or a new purse. In reality, it's nothing they're seriously jealous about. They'll get over your awesome seats to a playoff game or new LV. Anyways, the 'jealous' I'm speaking of is the silent but deadly kind. You're heartbroken over an ex and he gets a new girl...and she's pretty. Or your best friend just got in a relationship, and you never see her. Or an old friend has really been working on herself and she's lost 3 pant sizes and looks amazing. Even, your boyfriend is going out with friends and you're stuck wherever and he's not texting you back right away.

All these sorts of jealousy issues start with insecurity issues. My good friend Merriam-Webster define insecurity as: a : not highly stable or well-adjusted  b : deficient in assurance ; beset by fear and anxiety. This can apply to yourself, your friendships, your relationship, your every day life. If you are insecure in any of the previously stated, jealous will arise. Nobody WANTS to be jealous.

Signs of jealously:

1. Nonstop chatter about the subject (whether person or object)
2. Nonstop BASHING of the subject
3. Gossip
4. Evil stares
5. Putting one 'down'/No positive feedback

You know when you talk about how much you can't believe she's dating him and constantly try to bring the subject up? Take a step back and ask yourself: Am I jealous? BECAUSE IT SURE SEEMS LIKE IT! You're not fooling anyone, stop obsessing over something you may be unconsciously aware about and annoying your friends. Worry about yourself, not other people. There's no need to constantly rip on someone, or freak out on your boyfriend because he's out having a good time.

Honestly, no one likes when someone constantly bitches about a certain topic for days on end. It gets old quickly, and gossip? That's for the birds. Time to grow up, not try to find out every little flaw your ex's new girlfriend has. Don't bash your ex or your bf's/gf's ex. There's no reason for that. GET OVER IT. So when you find jealousy about to rear her ugly head and flash her teeth, step back and calm down. There's no need to take your insecurities out on something else. Instead, apply yourself, try to become more confident in yourself, your relationships, friendships, etc.

xoxo

Break ups

Nobody "likes" break ups. They're usually miserable. But the way you handle a break up makes all the difference for both parties. Unfortunately they happen, a lot. Your "forever and ever" turns into a "never ever". People change, which makes couples no longer compatible. Or the honey moon phase is too good and the person's true colors come out afterwards, which turn out to be some ugly shades.

Regardless of what happens, the process of breaking up can be painful, but only as painful as YOU make it. People cheat, people lose feelings, people fall out of love, whatever the reason, break ups happen. If you allow yourself to mope around and be miserable, that will set the tone for your 'break up' experience. However, if you come to terms with what happened and realize the world IS NOT over, you will have a better attitude about break ups in general.

For starters, regardless of what the reason, there will be some emotional ties involved. Especially if you were with that person for a while. Don't let how long you were together be how long you let yourself be miserable about your break up.

When it happens and you know it's for good, gather your pride, put your best smile on, and take the emotions head on. Yes, you invested a lot of time, emotions, and resources to the person. No, you don't owe them anything. No, they don't owe you anything. Stop trying to get them to talk to you, stop trying to get them to give it another chance, it's not worth the whirlwind of hurt.

Don't become a pathetic excuse of a person, prove to yourself that you won't let a break up ruin you. Honestly, break ups are not the end of the world. It took me a while to understand this, but now that I do, I know what I deserve. In my teen years I've spent my fair share of nights calling my ex over and over and begging for him to talk to me. (Pathetic) I've spent days sobbing and feeling like the world hates me, I've been miserable and let sad songs get to me. I've been there done that. Now, it's just another day. After my last break up, I used it as a lesson. I won't settle for less and when I am not happy, I won't stay just to stay. I am a strong person now, and it shows.

I'm not trying to brag, but when you go through a break up it matters how you handle it. Your true character shows when you handle times of chaos, gracefully. The quicker you come to terms that it's time to turn the page and start a new chapter of your life, the better off you'll be in the long run. Do not allow yourself to self-pity to no end, you're better than that. Instead, go out with friends, pick up a new hobby, work more, make goals for yourself. FIND YOUR OWN HAPPY. Memories have been made and now that is all they are. Time to make new memories.

Another break-up aspect is the rebound. Don't go looking for someone right away, it will back fire. Allow time for yourself, find your happy, do YOU, and have fun. Don't try to find someone to one-up your last relationship, truth is you're probably not ready to start something new. Which is okay, it's natural. Give yourself time!

DO NOT EX-BASH. It's a low blow, and no body likes someone who just talks bad about their ex for days and days. It's unattractive and immature. If you need a bitch session, grab your best friend, let it all out ONCE AND FOR ALL, then do not bring anything up ever again. Let it all go. What's past is past. You once were in a relationship with that person, so truth is you probably don't hate them and just want to bring them up in conversation to make yourself feel better. Like I said, that's high school stuff. Time to grow up.

This applies to both men and women, don't fall into a stereotypical break up phase. No crying for days, no gorging yourself with Ben & Jerry's, Don't sleep around following that horrible "the best way to get over someone is to get under someone new" UGH. That's so not true, and so not right. Don't allow yourself to be the one who sleeps around trying to get over an ex or past relationship. The classier you handle your break up, the classier you'll come across. When that happens, you'll attract the right kind of people.

If you have any questions or need advice don't hesitate to shoot me an email!
askprfctwoman@gmail.com

xoxo

Ab Workout

Okay I keep getting requests for my ab workout
so I'll put what I do up, finally!

 It varies, it's never the same, and never more than 20 minutes.

Remember, abs are made in the kitchen.
Eating healthy and the right foods will help your abs show.

You can't just do sit ups and
eat junk food expecting abs to show.

Also, don't just do abs! Work your whole body, including cardio!

So I would do about 30 reps of each exercises, about two times each.

I usually pick about 5 exercises to do each day. (I do abs every day)

For reference, use:

THIS SITE
If you don't know what the exercise is.

Ab Wheel/Ab Roller 

(^ That one is KILLER oh my god)

Air Bike (Bicycles)

Barbell Side Bend (Or with dumbells)

Bent Knee Hip Raise

Bottoms Up

Cross Body Crunch

Crunches
Decline Crunch
Dumbbell Side Bends
Leg Raises
Knee Ups
Leg Pull In
Oblique Crunches
Planks
Reverse Crunch
Russian Twist
Seated Leg Tucks
Side Jack Knife
Toe Touchers
Weighted Crunches

And this machine! The Torso Rotation, I honesty think this has led to my v-line
I do 15 reps 4 times on each side. Usually with about 110 lbs, but don't try it that heavy right away! Start with 40-50 lbs.

BUT Like I said, abs are not all about crunches, you have to eat right and do cardio and other weight training exercises. And be patient, it won't happen over night.

Also, if you're at home, do one of the ab workouts onBlogilates - YouTube
They're good!


Good luck!

Cardio Day

Cardio! (The dreaded)

Cardio cardio cardio, is so boring. Honestly, I hate it. BUT I DO IT.
Because, I like to look good naked.

ANYWAYS.

Here's what I torture myself with:

I do cardio every day, it just differs in length of my cardio sesh.

On a day to day basis I do 30-45 minutes of cardio, which is made up of usually two different types.

Treadmill, I usually run a mile and a half straight through as FAST as possible. Then I move to the elliptical and put that on high resistance and do work for the rest of my alotted time.

It really depends on your ability and what not, however, don't be that person who does the elliptical for an hour on level 1. That won't help you much. High intensity is where it's at for maximum results. And, I like to get cardio done with as soon as possible.

I also like the devil aka the stair master. I do that for like 20 minutes on intervals or what not on level 11 or 13. I like odd numbers. It's a killer and I'm literally dripping sweat, it's also at the front of my gym so it's a super beautiful sight for all the people coming and going.

On Cardio day, I like to do a cardio class. Because it makes it go by faster! And you usually work your whole body. My gym offers kick ass free classes and I take advantage of them. Or if there's not a class when I need cardio day, I do 60-90 minutes of cardio, just like above, but longer obviously!

Like I said above (^) It's all about high intensity,
get that heart rate up and get that sweat drippin'

Because THAT'S how you get results.
Don't half-ass your workouts. Go all in, betches.

xoxo

Leg Day!

Leg Workout 

You don't HAVE to do it all in one day, but I like to. 
It's an intense workout, and if you're not feeling it while you're doing it, 
ADD MORE WEIGHT

SQUATS

(I always use barbell, dumbbells or the bar)

Bulgarian Squats

Regular Squats
Bulgarian Split Squats

Sumo Squats

LUNGES

(medicine ball or dumbbells or a plate if you're brave!)

Forward Lunges

Backward Lunges

Side Lunges

Deadlifts

(Use dumbbells, bar, or barbells)

Romanian Deadlifts

Stiff Legged Deadlifts

Leg press machine

- I also do calf raises on this -

Leg Extensions

Step Ups

Resistance Bands (feel the burrrrrn)

The elliptical on high resistance is also my leg day friend, 

along with the stair master for 20-30 minutes. 

Walk on a STEEP incline at a decent past for some booty work!
Remember, don't hold onto the rails while doing any cardio, 
it lessens the work on your legs!

You don't have to do it all, or even all in one day. 
I like to superset my workouts, which is defined as 
"a combination of one exercise performed one right
 after another with no rest in between" 

Example: 8 sumo squats followed by 8 bulgarian squats on each leg (done 4 times)

Disclaimer: I'm no pro, I do not know everything. But this is what I do and this is what works for me. So give it a shot or find what works for you. Again, www.bodybuilding.com is a great site to find workouts for people of all abilities. 

xoxo

Change your eating habits one thing at a time

Everyone has their 'ways' of eating, whether it's that pop you have with every meal or that fried chicken you can't get away from, regardless changing a few different habits will improve your overall health. I have my cheat days of course, I can help it but I like to reward myself with my favorite foods.

- Say "BYE" to soda/pop/coke/whatever you call it.
- Drink MORE water! We want more we want more!
- Give up that sugary Yoplait for some Greek yogurt.
- Switch from fruit 'drinks' to REAL fruit juice.
- Give up fried & breaded chicken, go grilled or go home.
- Give up chips and try pretzels, or veggie chips.
- Get spinach leaves or Romaine instead of Iceburg lettuce.
- White rice for brown rice, every time.
- Pass up the margarine and pick up the butter (in portioned amounts, of course!)
- Stop eating fast food, and plan your damn meals. (Or make a healthy sandwich!)
- Give up Taco Bell, McDonalds, KFC, Wendy's, Panda Express, whatever. Ew.
- Be smart when you go out for dinner, choose steamed veggies instead of fries!
- Drink a glass of water before every meal.
- Don't eat when you're bored. Drink some water instead!
- Watch carb portion sizes! Especially pastas.
- Use mustard instead of mayo, and if you NEED mayo, use light & only serving size!
- Breakfast MATTERS, start your day off right. Lots of protein! (eggs!)
- Whole grain bread instead of white bread.


Simple changes make all the difference,  you'll feel better and look better!

Workout Challenge! Updated.

So on my prior account, I had challenge to see how
bikini ready you could be by June 1st!

(in a workout/eating right kinda way)

Well, I'm altering it a little, June 21st is the official FIRST day of SUMMER
SO now you have until June 21st to working your a$$ off at the gym and send me results by 11:59 pm CENTRAL time on June 21, 2013. I will then post them on this blog.

What you should send me:

Before & After picture

Optional info:

- Your name

- Your begining weight & after weight

- Your before/after measurements

If you DO not want me to post your before/after pics on this blog but still want to show me your stuff, please note that somewhere in the email!

email: askprfctwoman@gmail.com

I can't wait to see all your results!

Until then, keep kicking your own butt & getting the results you want!

When is enough, enough?

A lot of people seem to find themselves questioning when "enough is enough". Personally, I believe right when you start asking yourself this question, you've already had enough. This subject can cover anything, from friendships to relationships, and even school and work stressors.

In the relationship context is where I will be discussing "enough". If you are not completely happy or even close to being content in your relationship, and start finding yourself questioning your motives and intentions, you MIGHT want to reconsider being in that relationship.

If you don't feel your needs are being met as in individual, within reason, I'm not talking "he didn't buy me this, or he didn't text me back quick enough", those are silly little factors. Look at things on a larger scale. If the effort OVERALL is not where you want it to be, and you've had "enough". It's time to walk away. There's no fixing what is broken when it comes to relationships. Maybe you just need time to yourself and figure out what you really desire and need in a relationship, maybe you've just outgrown your current relationship and you are no longer compatible. It's the cold hard truth.

As hard as it is, do it for yourself. Put yourself first, don't stay miserable. It doesn't just apply to your significant other not putting in effort, but it applies to when you don't feel compatible anymore. That's when enough is enough. Why waste your time in a relationship that is not even remotely satisfying you? Do you find yourself annoyed? Do you find yourself more angry? Do you find yourself not as easger to answer their texts or phone calls? Then maybe it's time to let go. Life goes on, live positively. Live happily. Don't settle.

So when you ask yourself "When is enough, enough?" It's time to think about yourself, and possibly move on. You'll only be as miserable as you let yourself be.


xoxo

I'm Baaaaaack!

I'm back!

New and in my opinion, improved, the former "@Prfct_Grlfriend" is now the "@Prfct_Woman" new handle, new avi, new header, and new attitude. I didn't like being strapped to the "girlfriend" title even though I had recently broken up with my boyfriend.

ANYWAYS, it's summer for me! And that means no school work and more time to blog and update you on my life, my workouts, and my thoughts. I will be bringing some of my old posts to this blog because some are highly requested, like my workouts or my eating habits. But for the most part, this will be brand new! I'm not opposed to giving relationship advice, because frankly I still know how to be in a relationship, not to settle for less than I deserve, and how to treat a man! So feel free to email me or request topics for me to blog about! I'm open to anything.

This handle gives me a lot more freedom, even though I have not been a girlfriend for over a month now, I feel that now I can appeal to a larger crowd. Who doesn't want the perfect woman? Who doesn't want to BE the perfect woman? :P you get the point!

Thank you to those who have stuck with me through my handle change! It really means a lot, I'm still the same person, just without the "girlfriend" title!

xoxo