Break ups

Nobody "likes" break ups. They're usually miserable. But the way you handle a break up makes all the difference for both parties. Unfortunately they happen, a lot. Your "forever and ever" turns into a "never ever". People change, which makes couples no longer compatible. Or the honey moon phase is too good and the person's true colors come out afterwards, which turn out to be some ugly shades.

Regardless of what happens, the process of breaking up can be painful, but only as painful as YOU make it. People cheat, people lose feelings, people fall out of love, whatever the reason, break ups happen. If you allow yourself to mope around and be miserable, that will set the tone for your 'break up' experience. However, if you come to terms with what happened and realize the world IS NOT over, you will have a better attitude about break ups in general.

For starters, regardless of what the reason, there will be some emotional ties involved. Especially if you were with that person for a while. Don't let how long you were together be how long you let yourself be miserable about your break up.

When it happens and you know it's for good, gather your pride, put your best smile on, and take the emotions head on. Yes, you invested a lot of time, emotions, and resources to the person. No, you don't owe them anything. No, they don't owe you anything. Stop trying to get them to talk to you, stop trying to get them to give it another chance, it's not worth the whirlwind of hurt.

Don't become a pathetic excuse of a person, prove to yourself that you won't let a break up ruin you. Honestly, break ups are not the end of the world. It took me a while to understand this, but now that I do, I know what I deserve. In my teen years I've spent my fair share of nights calling my ex over and over and begging for him to talk to me. (Pathetic) I've spent days sobbing and feeling like the world hates me, I've been miserable and let sad songs get to me. I've been there done that. Now, it's just another day. After my last break up, I used it as a lesson. I won't settle for less and when I am not happy, I won't stay just to stay. I am a strong person now, and it shows.

I'm not trying to brag, but when you go through a break up it matters how you handle it. Your true character shows when you handle times of chaos, gracefully. The quicker you come to terms that it's time to turn the page and start a new chapter of your life, the better off you'll be in the long run. Do not allow yourself to self-pity to no end, you're better than that. Instead, go out with friends, pick up a new hobby, work more, make goals for yourself. FIND YOUR OWN HAPPY. Memories have been made and now that is all they are. Time to make new memories.

Another break-up aspect is the rebound. Don't go looking for someone right away, it will back fire. Allow time for yourself, find your happy, do YOU, and have fun. Don't try to find someone to one-up your last relationship, truth is you're probably not ready to start something new. Which is okay, it's natural. Give yourself time!

DO NOT EX-BASH. It's a low blow, and no body likes someone who just talks bad about their ex for days and days. It's unattractive and immature. If you need a bitch session, grab your best friend, let it all out ONCE AND FOR ALL, then do not bring anything up ever again. Let it all go. What's past is past. You once were in a relationship with that person, so truth is you probably don't hate them and just want to bring them up in conversation to make yourself feel better. Like I said, that's high school stuff. Time to grow up.

This applies to both men and women, don't fall into a stereotypical break up phase. No crying for days, no gorging yourself with Ben & Jerry's, Don't sleep around following that horrible "the best way to get over someone is to get under someone new" UGH. That's so not true, and so not right. Don't allow yourself to be the one who sleeps around trying to get over an ex or past relationship. The classier you handle your break up, the classier you'll come across. When that happens, you'll attract the right kind of people.

If you have any questions or need advice don't hesitate to shoot me an email!
askprfctwoman@gmail.com

xoxo