I am an Unintentional Heart Breaker.

I break hearts. But not on purpose.

I am a very social person, some may call it flirty, I disagree. I'm social. I'm not afraid to strike up a conversation, share my opinions, ask someone how their day is going. It does not matter who, it could be my best friend, someone in my class, a customer at work, whoever. When I'm approached by someone, of course I'm going to hold a conversation, being short would be rude (in my opinion). I don't see a problem in creating friendships with people I meet. 

The problem is that some people, men to be specific, take my friendliness as genuine romantic interest. Since when is having friendly conversation romance? I've had guys express their interest in me, compliment me, the whole nine yards, but I could not see past the 'friendship'. Personally, I cannot make myself like someone. I can't pretend to be interested in someone just because they are interested in me. I believe in an initial spark, which I've felt before so I know it exists, when starting a relationship. 

I feel bad, ultimately telling guys I'm not interested in anything beyond a friendship. I've been specifically told "Well you just broke my heart", but I don't INTEND to. I'm not trying to flaunt that I have guys falling all over me, because I don't, but then ones I have had develop feelings for me and I haven't felt the same, has left things feeling a little awkward upon seeing or talking to them again. I'm not trying to sound stuck up by any means, I really enjoy friendships and of course I want a relationship but I don't want to force one. The term "friendzone" is so annoying to me because, YES I'm going to remain ONLY friends with you if I don't see you as anything more than a friend. I'm not going to pretend I have feelings and like a friend back. The term "friendzone" always has a negative connotation of the one who doesn't have feelings. BUT YOU CAN'T MAKE FEELINGS UP. I'm not going to pretend to like someone, start dating, and be miserable. No thank you. That's not fair to either person. 

So, I break hearts on accident. Not to the point where these guys spiral into depression but just enough for them to feel disappointed, I don't know if it's disappointment in me or what. But it kind of sucks. I don't lead anyone on, I'm always honest from the beginning, but feelings develop and I have to let them down as easy as I can. If you don't know already, I just went through a tough breakup a couple months ago. It was pretty messy and right now I just want to focus on myself, my job, my schoolwork, and me. It's okay to be a little selfish. I've learned a lot and I need a break from relationships, I am not a serial dater. I heal on my own and I don't try to date other people to heal myself. (hint hint, next post)

I'm not ready for a relationship, and if you aren't either, you shouldn't feel like you have to be in one just because someone likes you or because you're trying to get over someone else. So with all of that being said, I'm not anti-relationships by any means. But I thoroughly believe time to one's self after a breakup or life changing event is necessary. I don't feel the need to be in a relationship right now and that is 100% okay with me. I'll be in another relationship again eventually, and I know it will be great, but for now, I'm alone and I'm totally okay with that. I love myself through and through, I'm healing day by day, and soon enough I will love another the way I love myself. 

Update On My Ever-So-Interesting Life, Thankfulness, & Holiday Singleness

Happy November!
I personally cannot wait until Thanksgiving, because family and food are two of my favorite things. With Thanksgiving, comes being 'thankful' for what you have. I think this is an aspect of the Holidays A LOT of people tend to forget, even myself. So I'm going to take the time to remind myself  (and all of you) to be thankful for where you are in life, right now.

For starters, Holidays can be either SUPER cheerful or SUPER depressing. Some feel that if they do not have a significant other, that the holidays are not complete. I've been there, having thoughts that spending the holidays with someone would be so much 'better' than being alone. But is it really better? You still have your friends and family, that alone is worth celebrating. No, it's not someone to kiss underneath the mistletoe, but that is what your pet is for :) You may not have someone to spoil you, buy you jewelry, nice things, and take cute pictures with, but IT'S OKAY. It's not a bad thing to be single during the holidays. For starters, let's remind ourselves how much money we'll be saving (or spending on ourselves instead). I know when I'm in a relationship, I somehow manage to spend hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of dollars on my significant other during the holidays. This year, I've decided to save, volunteer, and spend more time with my family and friends.

Some people have taken my "it's okay to be single" tweets as "being in a relationship is stupid and sucks". Let me clear the air, I never said that. Relationships with the RIGHT person are wonderful, fulfilling, and can change your life. Being single and waiting for the right person is okay too, and that's all I'm really saying. So please STOP putting words into my mouth, if you're happy in your healthy relationship, I'm happy for you! More power to you, you deserve it.

Back to being thankful, I am thankful for what life has taught me. I am forever thankful for life being a twisting, turning, long, and tough path. The lessons I have learned in the past year have been extremely tough on my ego, heart, and mental state, but I'm stronger than ever. I'm thankful for my family, each of my siblings, my awesome parents, and my cute little pup (who is not a pup anymore). I am thankful for my friends who continue to make me laugh until I cry, have slumber parties (Yeah, I'm 22, SO WHAT?!), listen when I need it, and drunkenly dance with me. I am thankful for my college education, I graduate in December! YESSSS! I am thankful for my job(s) and my upcoming opportunities. I am thankful for the tough decisions I have to make in the next few months because at least I have different paths and opportunities to take. I am thankful for every heartbreak I've ever had, because instead of damaging my heart, they've made me stronger and smarter. I am thankful for each and every one of my twitter followers. Even though you may not know what I look like, my first name, or anything else, you still make my day and I seriously enjoy interacting with you. I'm thankful for my motivation to kick my own ass at the gym on pretty much a day-to-day basis. I am thankful to be healthy, alive, and most importantly, happy. I don't worry as much, I look at life as one big opportunity, I don't mope, I'm always smiling. The best part? I've done all of that by myself. Make yourself happy, it's a great start at overall happiness.

Back to a little more update on my life, this semester is wrapping up, and I'm graduating in December! It's been a LONG journey of college credits and terrible professors, but it's all going to be so worth it when I 'Terio' (Oooh Kill 'Em) with my Bachelor's degree. Although I'm not quite sure what I want to do exactly, I'll figure it out! I'm ready to travel the world, live a little before I have to work for the rest of my life. I'm actually looking into being an Au Pair for a family in Europe for a handful of months! So I'm trying to figure out the details of that, and I just picked up a second part-time job because I'm money hungry and have student loans to pay. (I hate you, Sallie Mae). I'm going to Nashville soon and I'm really really really excited, I've never been so it will be a new experience for me. I'm also thankful to be able to travel, especially with my friends. (Time for shots!)

I've really been doing 'me' lately. Not getting caught up in the dating scene, working on myself, bettering myself, and being more independent. I'm really doing my best to set myself up for success. I'm not worried about finding 'the one' tomorrow, I'm not even worried about finding him in the next few years, if it happens, it happens. I'm not going to worry about it. Meanwhile, I'll be doing me, living life to the fullest, and experiencing all I can while I'm still young. I suggest you do the same!

xoxo

Never Sacrifice Your Own Happiness

I may believe in second chances, I do believe that people can change if they really want to, I believe in finding the good in people, but I DO NOT believe in settling for anything less than you deserve. Settling is something that is often overlooked. Sometimes you don't even realize you're settling until you are absolutely miserable, but it's never too late. In relationships, when the other person is not holding up their end, or putting in effort, or even treating you like a decent human being, you're settling.

I'm not saying your boyfriend or girlfriend has to jump through flaming hoops for you, but I am saying that they should give just as much effort and try to make you happy on the regular. If someone claims to love you, they won't be letting you down on a daily basis. Sometimes you won't even realize it, or you'll brush it aside, or try to make the best of it, but you should NEVER EVER have to brush your feelings or your needs aside. It's okay to be a little selfish when it comes to your heart. If someone is really not making you happy anymore, and definitely not putting in the effort, it's time to leave. Nothing good will come of settling for less than decent. Never sacrifice your own happiness.

I'm speaking from both personal experience and what I've learned. I've been through being unhappy first hand, I tried to make the best of it, I tried to fix things, I tried to pretend I was happy. But I wasn't. I was miserable, it was turning me into someone I really wasn't. My relationship needed to end once and for all. That's the cold truth you have to come to terms with. It sucks at first, but once you find your own happy again, and feel that natural smile come over your face, it's amazing. It really is.

I loved him. He told me he loved me. But I don't think he knows what the truth definition of love is, at least to me. To me, love is happiness. Love is finding someone that makes you feel something you never have before, makes you want to do everything you can for that person, share memories with, spend time with, share thoughts and concerns with, have traditions with. Love is a feeling that cannot be forced, but is a word that can be thrown around.

You can't fix someone who does not want to be fixed. You cannot change someone who does not want to change. No matter what you say or do, neither of those things can be successfully accomplished. This is my problem, I always want to fix the broken, help the bad habits. I finally realized that I can only do this for myself. I can only fix me, I can only change myself, I couldn't fix him, I couldn't change him. When things got worse, I finally realized it. I realized he will never change, no matter what he says, and I couldn't be with someone like this anymore. It drained me and stole my happy. I needed out, and that was the best decision I've ever made. Don't try to fix someone. Let them fix themselves.

Once you realize that someone is not right for you, no matter how long you've been with them, no matter how much you love them, no matter how many memories you have with them, it's time to let go. There's this quote I found and I thoroughly agree with it...

"'How do you know when it's over?'

'When you feel more in love with your memories than with the person standing in front of you'"

I could not agree more. I seriously love this. It was so true for me, I was in love with what was, not with was is. (or should I say, 'what was'?). Regardless, once I realized all of this, it was all over. There was no saving anything, no trying to fix anything, nothing left to salvage. Honestly, I'm okay with it. 

How?! Why?! Some may ask...to me it's simple... I know I deserve better. I know I deserve more. I know I deserve to be happy, not to be bent and broken and torn apart. I'm not going to settle. No matter what. I'm too young to be in a shitty relationship. Mediocrity is an epidemic. I will not succumb to a mediocre relationship for the rest of my life. Sure, I poured my heart and soul into that relationship, but it wasn't worth it. I'm not afraid to be alone, I'm not afraid to be single. I'm okay with hanging out with friends and sleeping alone at night. I don't depend on goodnight and good morning text messages. I don't need to text and talk to someone almost all day every day. I'm my own person. Instead, I'm going to focus on me, myself and I. I'm going to invest my time into school, work, and my body. If someone else comes along and things work out, that's great, but I'm not looking. I'm about me. I'm about having fun. I'm not going to give my all to someone who gives nothing in return.

And I have no angst, anger, or bitterness towards my ex. I just hope he finds happiness and peace within himself. Nothing more, nothing less. What's done is done. No use in holding anything against him. Let go. Let it all go. Don't hold on to grudges, you'll only make yourself more angry. I will be someone's perfect girlfriend one day, and they will recognize and appreciate it more than I could ever imagine.

I'm 22, most of my followers range from 15-20something. Whatever age range you're in, realize this: YOU'RE YOUNG AND PROBABLY AREN'T GOING TO MARRY THE NEXT GUY YOU DATE. (or the guy that you're dating, just saying) Things aren't the same anymore, people don't get married and have a family by 23, jeez if that was the truth, I'd be screwed. But live it up, however old you are. Have fun, enjoy yourself and your happiness. Don't be miserable and a psycho in some shitty relationship.

You may say you're over him/her but only you can really know. You'll know you're over them when you don't feel the need to bring them up, when you don't need to bitch about how much they suck, when things don't remind you of them. When they're finally out of your mind. When you're finally at peace with what was, and looking forward to what is and what will be. Leave your relationship and it's issues in the past, move forward, don't dwell.

And for Heaven's sake...stop going back to the toxicity! 

xoxo

Did you miss me?!

It's been forever and a day since I've posted on this blog, and I'm sorry. Been busy, as usual. Finally my last semester of undergrad! WOOOHOOOOOOOOO

Anyways, I just wanted to let you know I updated my skreened.com shop and added some baseball tees and crew necks (sweatshirts), they're made by American Apparel and if you know anything about them you know they make the BEST clothing. The quality is amazing, they shirts are so soft, and so durable. I have a lot of their tanks and v-necks and I love them and wear them all the time. I can't wait to buy my own baseball tee and crew neck! They're unisex sizes so I usually go with a small. I'm 5'4".

SO, I just wanted to let you know whats up. I'm going to be blogging about a new topic of: not settling, not trying to fix someone, and not dealing with other people's bullshit (excuse my French) sometime soon but don't wait up for me. I know I take longer than I always say but I have a lot going on.

Please be patient, and as always, thanks for being amazing!

xoxo

Fever Friday! Proposal fever that is...

Happy Friday!

Before everyone starts getting sad about Summer being almost over, or going back to school, or whatever other summer blues may occur, I have happiness for you! Who DOESN'T love a cute proposal? Heck, I tear up at almost every proposal I've ever seen, I am guilty of staying up late and watching proposals on YouTube in high hopes one day I will get my own. Anyways, I've tweeted about this before but now I'm featuring @HowHeAsked. A WHOLE TWITTER ACCOUNT BASED ON PROPOSALS AND HAPPY ENDINGS, HELLO THIS IS MUCH NEEDED. Sorry, I got a LITTLE excited there.

Back to the topic, I'm here to introduce you to Stacy Tasman. She's the creator of HowHeAsked.com and she's the brilliance behind the twitter account as well (@HowHeAsked). Do I even have to ask you to follow? You all should have searched for the account and hit the follow button already! This isn't spam, or paid advertising, I have a soft spot for proposals, so when Stacy contacted me I was SO TOTALLY STOKED (for lack of better wording) to get to know more about this portal of inter-web happiness.

Here's a little background on the site & the creator, Stacy!

ABOUT US:
HowHeAsked started in Fall 2011 and features a new proposal story every day! Features include jaw-dropping photos, tear-jerking videos, and beautiful, heart-warming words. We receive submissions from newly-engaged women, grooms-to-be, photographers, deadly duos going on their 5th or 55th anniversary, same-sex couples, and more.
Bottom line: we’re in love with love (and of course gorgeous rings) and are thrilled to help share the most exciting story of a person’s life!

ABOUT ME: 

Hi, I’m Stacy Tasman! I started HowHeAsked in Fall 2011 after a dear friend of mine got engaged. I felt blessed to be a part of the proposal and honestly couldn’t tell you who was more swept up in the emotion – my newly engaged girlfriend or my [extremely mushy] self. Alas, HowHeAsked.com began.

I’m a storyteller myself and unstoppably inquisitive. I love all things real, passionate, and energetic, and when life gives me lemons – I build a lemonade stand. I live in New York City, am a University of Florida graduate, and I’m lucky to have traveled through some of the world’s most beautiful countries over the past few years.
Most importantly, I get to know extremely excited women and help them share the most amazing story of their life with their friends, family, and all the love-addicted readers of HowHeAsked. And yes, I cry reading every single one

----------------------------------

I felt the need to get a little more information out of the proposal queen herself! So I did a little Q&A via email and this is what Stacy returned. LOOK AT THAT RING, #swoon. Feel free to read, cry, read some more, shed some more happy tears, and read again. Then go on pinterest and plan your future wedding ten times over. Those DIY center pieces, YOU CAN DO IT! Take it all in...


What's your favorite type of proposal?
I love the small things in life that make it most beautiful – like the way someone's eyes wrinkle when they smile or the way a short love note on the kitchen counter can turn the day around. So, my favorite proposals highlight the tiny bits and pieces of who a person is that has made the other person fall in love with them. I absolutely melt when a proposal adds up all the beautiful ways love exists, and all the ways it will exist in the future.

What's your favorite style of ring?
Oval and vintage. In fact, this is my favorite ring:

What is your HONEST opinion on the new 'Disney' inspired rings?
In life, love and relationships, what means something to one person doesn't always mean something to another. Same goes for engagement rings! The bright colors and ornate details of these Disney-inspired rings are beautiful, but I'm personally more of simple, elegant gal. I do, however, love the evolution of the traditional engagement ring and think any symbol of love – whether it's a traditional diamond, vintage gem, or Disney-inspired ring – is a stunning thing to wear!

What's the most unique proposal you've seen?
Speaking of Disney, I really loved this Disney montage proposal. The groom put together a mash-up of Disney films to share what his now fiance means to him. It was such a beautiful and creative effort, and the two of them will have the video to share forever!

What's the funniest proposal you've seen? (In a cute way, of course!)
This guy proposed in a banana suit. The best part is when he stands up...the banana suit is the equivalent length of a mini skirt. (Also, you'll see the girl is rushing into the room the banana man is waiting in because she was "on a scavenger hunt" with her friends). The whole thing is rather priceless.

What do you think is mandatory when it comes to a proposal?
1. That it's a complete surprise
2. That it's caught on camera some how

How can people contact you with their stories?
You can send an email to Stacy@HowHeAsked.com (with the story of "how we met" and "how he asked" + proposal photos/video + engagement shoot photos if you have them) or fill out our submission form.

How often do you post stories that have been shared with you?
I receive around 15-20 per week and I try to post all of them within a month or so. We are working on a self-publishing feature to speed this process up. The more the merrier (and tearier!).

What's your favorite part of a wedding?
The vows and speeches. If you couldn't tell already, I'm a big ol' mush. I've been blessed to have to a LOT of love in my life and I'm never too shy to be vocal about it. Words are so powerful and can change a person's life (it's happened to me many times). So at weddings, I love hearing kind, supportive and loving words, surrounded by the most important people in your life.

Would you ever consider making merchandise for the brides-to-be?
I've thought about making merchandise to commemorate the proposal (there are so many wedding blogs out there- I might leave it to them to do the wedding stuff, and I'll stick to the proposal). You'll definitely be the first to know when that happens!

So now it's time to accidentally leave this blog up on your phone/computer/ipad/tablet for your potential fiance to see. Obviously. I apologize for slacking on my blog, this thing called life keeps getting in the way! But I hope this little update is enough to make you crack a smile, find a new twitter account to follow, and a new website to stalk on a daily basis when you have wedding fever. Enjoy, and thank you as always for following @Prfct_Woman!

xoxo

I'm Slacking.

I'm slacking and I know it. I've been busy with work and everything else I fill up my time with. As some of you may know, my computer crashed so I am behind on posting the results that some followers sent me of their before/after fitness challenge. I apologize and I'm working on getting everything back up and running.

I also haven't as been as personal on Twitter, for the following reasons. I said too much before and that led to people passing judgement. I am going to keep my twitter pretty vague from here on out. Not saying I will tweet about starbucks and glitter every day, just less personal things about my relationship and myself. I hope you understand. I appreciate every single one of you loyal followers, you've really made my experience as an anon on twitter a positive one! I just need my personal life to remain personal.

As always, if you ever need advice you can email me. (askprfctwoman@gmail.com) and I will get back to you as soon as possible. School will be starting up again soon and that starts a whole new set of responsibilities, unfortunately. #GROWNUPPROBLEMS

I'm working on coming up with a list of topics to blog about, I want to blog about what YOU'RE interested in and what YOU want to know. So you can always tweet at me or email me or comment on this blog post and I'll work on a blog about the topic.

P.s. my birthday is coming up, I like shiny things and beer.

;)

xoxo

Perfect woman fit challenge!

Hey guys! It's the first day of summer! That means its times for you to email me your before and after pics! I blogged about it a month or so ago so look back for more info. I'll be creating a post sometime this weekend/upcoming week including your before and after pics so email me to them now!! 

My email is askprfctwoman@gmail.com

Xoxo